


in your wake

by saraheli



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, F/F, Feminine Reader, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 13:05:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16703173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraheli/pseuds/saraheli
Summary: falling in love isn’t all sunshine (duh), but it especially isn’t when you torture yourself with thoughts of her and let the girl you love walk all over you until you break.





	in your wake

**Author's Note:**

> anonymous request: Can I request a drabble about being Sua’s best friend as you fall in love with her? Thanks (I thought I kind of needed to do this now lol)

You didn’t know you would like Bora. Does anyone start out a friendship  _ knowing _ that they’ll develop a cripplingly overwhelming crush on any of the random people that they meet in a day? It’s doubtful; it usually hits them all at once as it did you. You’d noticed it for the first time last year at some party she’d dragged you to. She’d whined when you told her you didn’t want to go, so you couldn’t very well let her carry on that way and joined her. That night, you had let her make you dance, and you had let her pour you half of a drink and she had kissed the corner of your mouth and tasted like whiskey and something else you couldn’t place. When she’d pulled away and laughed, you’d stared at her dumbly and begged silently for the knot in your stomach to loosen. It's only gotten worse since then. You’d followed her around like a leashed puppy, blissfully at her beck and call, your heart swelling at the notion of her coming to yours, too. 

Your heart still races when you think about it, even today as you wait patiently in your seat for Bora to arrive and claim the empty one beside you. You jumped in surprise when your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you took it out to silence it, folding one of the sleeves of your sweatshirt into your palm. You opened the notification, biting your lip. 

> _ kim sua: please please take notes for me for the beginning of the lecture—i’m going to be late. i’ll explain later thank uuuu _

You made a face before setting your phone face-down on the table. She was late often, but you really hated taking two sets of notes. You had a divot in your index finger, the spot rough and pink from being pressed into your pen, and you wondered if it might heal if you hand wrote things less frequently. Granted, you didn’t really have to (it was completely possible for you to take your normal notes and scan them or give them to her to copy down herself after all), but she seemed to like it so much when you copied them by hand, and it really was much nicer anyway, so you did. 

You found Bora after the lecture in the lounge in the building where you both lived, eraser between her teeth as some guy chattered at her from across the table. She smiled when she saw you, raising her hand to wave in complement to her blinding smile. You refrained from letting her fingernails crumple her your-note-sheet like they wanted to. 

“Hey!” She said sweetly, reaching out to accept the paper from you. “Oh, thank you so much, you’re such a doll.” 

You bowed your head and smiled meekly, “It’s no big deal.” Your eyes met with the boy sharing a table with Bora. “I don’t think we’ve—”

“Juho,” he said. “You’re Bora’s lit tutor then?” 

Your lips parted to answer negatively, but Bora interrupted with a little huff. You could smell her perfume as she combed her fingers through her hair, setting her binder on the table. She flipped open her literature folder, carding through the countless pages filled with your handwriting and highlighting and little personal notes, sticking the most recent one into the back behind the others. 

“She may as well be my tutor. Only reason I have any grade in that damn class is her, anyway,” Bora chuckled. “But, tonight, she will stick to being my best friend, I think. Hey, you’re coming to the party at Beta with me, right?” 

You raised your eyebrows, opening your mouth again to remind her that you had work in the morning, but she looked so excited that you couldn’t bring yourself to. You nodded. 

“Yeah, sure. Remind me what time?” 

“I’ll just come over. We can get ready together,” she giggled, reaching up to pinch your cheek fondly. 

You nodded again, letting yourself smile. You were glad that you would get to spend so much time with her, and you told yourself over and over that you would get home soon enough and that you could work with less sleep than you intended. 

“Sure,” you consented. “Will you, uh, walk me upstairs? There’s some weird stuff that we went over in class that I should clarify for your notes.”

“Yeah,” Bora stood, sliding her things back into her bag. “I’ll see you later, okay?” She tilted her head forward, sending Juho a brief smile before following you up into the stairwell.

You silently led her up to your floor, lips fixed shut as you turned the key and let her go ahead of you down the hall. She leaned against the wall beside your door and watched you with a tinge of something unrecognizable in her eyes. You stuck your key in the lock and jiggled it until it turned. 

Bora was wondering then what was eating you. She knew you better than you thought she did, but still not as much as you wished she did. She could certainly tell when you were upset or stressed or something, but it was getting more difficult, and she couldn’t tell if it was because she was getting worse at paying attention or because you were getting better at hiding your thoughts from her.

* * *

The next week was the same, and so was the next. Bora left you behind at that party and begged your forgiveness over coffee the next morning. She asked you to stay up with her and study for a French exam, offering to give you a massage in return, which you gratefully accepted. She introduced you to new people that she met each month or so, and she came to you when they did something she thought was uncool. She leaned on you, but she never had time to let you lean back and the worst part? You didn’t even mind. Your heart was so lamely held in the palm of her hand, that any time she even merely prodded at it with her half-minded finger you felt like you might be floating. You loved breathing in her scent and being her confidant; you loved being close to her when she danced and laughed and swore. You loved her. You loved her, and you thought that loving her was worth giving yourself up for.

She came and knocked on your door, and you let her pace back and forth in your room, deafly nodding along to something that had made her upset today in her class; you wanted to help, but you were so sleepy, and the scrunch of frustration that wrinkled her nose forced your vision to cloud with the cotton of exhaustion. You wondered if she ever looked at you like— 

“Are you listening?” 

You shook yourself and stared lamely up at her with widened eyes, “Y-Yes? Why would I not be listening? I’m sorry if I look like—”

“You do,” Bora sighed. “You’ve been looking like that a lot lately. Like you would rather be doing something else when we’re together. What’s the deal? If you’ve got some kind of problem with me...” 

Your heart wrenched, and your head fell, eyes pointing down to where your hands balled up on your thighs. Your face felt hot, and your throat felt cold and swollen, and you tried to take a deep breath, but it hitched and came back up with the tears. You shook your head. 

“No, um,” you sniffed, “I’ve just been really stressed lately with my job and school and stuff, and it-it hasn’t really…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Bora folded her arms over her chest, eyebrows furrowing at you. Her heart was pounding at the sight of you so distressed, but she couldn’t picture when things could have become this way. A wave of guilt overtook her, and she settled back into her hip as she waited for you to say something.

You breathed for a moment, “You didn’t seem like you had time for that, I don’t know. Whenever we’re together, you always have a set number of things you need to tell me before you have to go, or you’re like four drinks in and then even if I wanted to scream over the music, there’s no guarantee you would remember it anyway...it just seemed like there wasn’t a good place for it, you know what I mean?”

Bora felt so much worse than she had only mere moments before. You weren’t the type of person to be spoken over, necessarily. You weren’t afraid to talk to your friends, so what was this? Her stomach twisted at the idea of being so selfish and not noticing the shift in you.

“I...We’re friends, you should have just told me to shut up,” she replied frankly, her voice still gentle as she waited for you to meet her eyes. You didn’t. “I mean, what are you keeping locked up in there?” She stepped forward and touched your hair, her hand settling into it to cup your head. 

“I’m working too many hours, I’m behind on my literature reading, the teaching assistant for my second hour is a predatory creep, I haven’t spoken to my mother since I came back to school, and I’m in love with my straight best friend,” you listed off, rambling as you watched tears fall and spread in puddles over your jeans. “ _ Fuck _ ,” you pushed the heels of your palms into your eyes, chest heaving as you started to sob. 

Bora’s mouth fell open, and she came to kneel in front of you where you sat in your desk chair. She gathered you into her arms and held you as close as she could, rocking you back and forth and hushing you.

“ _ I’m so sorry, I didn’t want you to know, I just couldn’t—” _

It made sense why you never told her to shut up. It made sense why you put up with her less than savory behavior over the past two weeks. You were trapped by loving her with someone who did nothing but use you. And it was a relief, too. Why else would she only ever choose you? You weren’t an easy person to have as a rock—your life was one of nonstop work and goals goals goals. You were so busy and perfect and out of reach, and she was addicted to your kindness.  

_ “I just couldn’t lose you.” _

“Lose me?” Bora pulled away and took your face in her hands. Your cheeks were wet and hot and soft, and your breaths rasped between your parted lips as you finally matched her gaze. “There is no way in  _ hell _ you are losing me.” She pulled your head down softly, touching your forehead to hers for a moment. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” 

Her final words were a whisper before she closed the gap between you, the slick of her strawberry lip gloss mixing with the savory of your outburst. Her lips were smooth and nimble, and she cupped your cheeks sweetly, guiding you for a few moments before breaking the kiss. Your eyes fluttered open to see, much to your shock, her cheeks flushed and her eyes still closed. You blinked, lips parting in awe.

“I didn’t think you would like me that way,” you whispered, your words breezing over the curve of her cheek as you pulled away even more so you could look at her fully. 

Bora giggled through her nose and shook her head, “I mean, I didn’t  _ mean _ to...I just sort of did.” 

You tossed your head to the side and scoffed, “Well, now that you’re  _ in love with me _ , I’d like to tell you about my week.” You hummed, lungs feeling lifted and free, newly emboldened by the knowledge that things could only get better; you and your best friend were in love, you could rebalance. You felt good. 

“Ah!” Bora swatted your knee, and, made uncharacteristically timid by the situation, she sat down on your rug. “Yes, I would love to hear about it,” she said finally, accepting your hand when you offered it to her. “And then, I think you need to rest. There will be plenty more time for us to talk after tonight.” 


End file.
